Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday. It reminds us to take a moment out of our busy lives to think about how many blessings we truly enjoy. However, Robert Emmons of UC Davis and Michael McCullough of the University of Miami believe that being grateful on a regular basis is important to our overall well-being. Saying “thank you” isn’t just good manners–it helps us maintain better physical health and an optimistic outlook.
Uncle Leroy Gets Scrutinized by His Future Combat Engineer Niece
This year, many people are probably gathering around their Thanksgiving dinner trying to keep a positive attitude in spite of huge setbacks, disappointments, and financial challenges. To them, I offer the same advice I try to follow myself when things look particularly grim. I use the “Leroy standard,” which refers to my late brother, journalist Leroy Sievers, who passed away last year after a lengthy and courageous battle with cancer. If I’m feeling grumpy, I ask myself if Leroy would like my day. I’m pretty sure the answer would be a resounding yes. I thought of Leroy last Thursday, as I was holding on for a root canal scheduled this week, sick with a bad cold, nearly late for class because somebody punched some nails in the tires of our car, none of my technology was working in class, and so on. But how could that possibly compare with two brain surgeries, lung ablations, chemo, radiation, and three back surgeries? I would be totally embarrassed to complain.
On the very plus side of my life, here’s what comes to mind this Thanksgiving as the things for which I’m most grateful:
- My wonderful family–Roger has put up with me for 40 years now, Kristin (she’s a bit older than in the photo above) returned safely from a year in Iraq, Karen continues to thrive in her doctoral program, and Karla was thrilled to see a piece of her art used in an online news article. We are especially pleased that new technologies, like Facebook, have helped us keep up with our extended family members–my Aunt Jeanne, Pam, and David in Houston, cousin Ingrid in Massachusetts, and our numerous nieces and nephews.
- Health–sure there are some tweaks and twinges that happen at 57 that didn’t happen at 20, but by and large, we’re doing pretty well, especially since we have a handle on the weight thing.
- My students–I love many aspects of my job, but interacting with my students has always been a huge source of pleasure. It’s so much fun to see those light bulbs go on, or feel like a conversation really lit the fire of inquiry in someone that might not otherwise have happened.
- My friends–I’m lucky to have some really good people in this category. Some I’ve known since kindergarten, others are newer, but all are worth their weight in gold. Once again, we’re enjoying the use of Facebook to keep up with each other.
- My freedom–My personality tests have always pinpointed me as a person who doesn’t like to be told what to do. As if I needed a test to tell me that….So how wonderful that I was born in a time and place that has provided more freedom to more people than any other political organization in the history of humankind.
So whatever your list might be, maybe it needs to be reviewed more than one day out of the 365 per year. Emmons and McCullough would no doubt approve, and I think Leroy would, too. As William James says, “To change one’s life: Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly.”
12 Comments
GLicht · November 27, 2009 at 11:28 am
I think it’s wonderful that you use your brother’s story as a way to see your life in a more positive light. I often get wrapped up in very small problems that, in the bigger picture, really aren’t a problem at all. I also love #3 on that list of things you are grateful for-you are truly a unique professor! Biopsychology can seem very daunting, but your approach makes the material feel attainable even to students (like myself) who have never gotten a dose of it before. The atmosphere at Cal Poly has become more tense lately, but it’s professors that truly enjoy their work that make me thankful that I go this school.
A funny story that reminds me of keeping up up with family through technology. My friend’s family was able to video conference with their son who couldn’t make it home for Thanksgiving. So, he got to sit right at the table with everyone-very entertaining and it made me appreciate technology too!
jessie ysunza · November 27, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Thanksgiving is a wonderful time that allows for family and friends to gather and be grateful for each other, but I do think it is important for people to be constantly aware of the things they are thankful for. In this busy fast pace life that we all live, it sometimes is easy to over look every day favors or kind gestures others do for you. Personally, family is one of the greatest things I am thankful for and I know that being a college student, working, and living far away contributes to me being less aware of everything they have done for me. So, when it comes to times like thanksgiving when everyone can be together, it really reminds me how great it is to have so many friends and family members in my life. The holiday of thanksgiving should be more like a lifestyle of thanksgiving, but it is very reassuring to know at least one day out of the year people everywhere are all giving thanks together.
dmorriso · December 1, 2009 at 12:29 pm
I totally agree that being grateful each day is so beneficial to our well being! It is a major stress reliever. My favorite song for years has been “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bob Marley. No matter what my day has been like, I just remember that it is only going to last a short while out of my whole life. I work with people all different ages who have a variety of disabilities, and the main thing I love about it is they have such a joy about them. They just meet you and love you to death. They want to get to know all about you and just be your friend. Daily I think, why is it so hard for me to be that way?? Putting our life in perspective and being grateful for what God is doing in our lives daily is so important. God has given us a life to live in joy and peace, not to suffer. I love this time of year because it brings these thoughts back to our busy lives and we are able to enjoy all of our family, friends, and blessings.
adugandzic · December 1, 2009 at 4:27 pm
I definitely think Thanksgiving is the time of year that everyone takes a step back to really think about the good things in life. Sometimes it’s hard to realize how lucky we are when there are so many small things that we stress about every day. Being a student can make that especially difficult because most of my life rests on how high my grades are each quarter. If I don’t do well, I can potentially get kicked out of school if I continually do poorly, lose my position in my sorority, ruin my parents’ investment in my education, etc. But what I really should be thinking about is how lucky I am to be a student at such a great school, how lucky I am to have been voted into the third highest position in my sorority, and how lucky I am to have parents that support me and are willing to invest in me. With this realization, I think it is much easier to be motivated and to do well. Everyone has at least one thing to be thankful every single day for, it’s just up to us to keep it in mind every day.
kzendeja · December 1, 2009 at 7:33 pm
I couldn’t agree more with your perspective on life and specifically Thanksgiving. When I was younger I was always looking forward to the holiday season for one main reason, and this was to receive presents. Now as I am older I have gained a new perspective on life. I look forward to holidays because as a student I never find the time to go home (or not often enough) and enjoy leisure time with my family. Thanksgiving now has a whole new meaning to me, I am reminded of how fortunate I am. Your brothers struggle helps remind me, like it has yourself of just how good even my worst days are when put in a few perspective, although others have a really unfortunate reality I cant help but think again and again how grateful and fortunate I am. Happy Holidays!
gderenzo · December 2, 2009 at 9:12 pm
As dead week progresses and finals are looming, I think that it is important to adopt the mentality of appreciating each day that we have to live. Especially now that we are in the full swing of the holiday season often people get caught up in the frenzy of shopping and stressing out about lines, parking lots and what not, but realistically people need to re-center and realize that it is more than a consumer filled season. As you mention remembering your brother, the holidays are more of a time to remember those who we’ve lost and to appreciate those who we still have. In my family those who we’ve lost are always remembered and we share stories and our fondest memories. It also makes us realize that we are lucky to have our health and each other, especially during weeks like finals when every day feels like it’s never going to end and is the worse day ever. It’s all about perspective and being able to take a step back to appreciate that there’s more to life. Happy Holidays!
mmoeinaz · December 3, 2009 at 2:02 am
I truly love this holiday season because it is just another opportunity to express how much love and care you have for the people that matter to you. Especially with family. It is so true that we are so consumed and busy with our lives here at school that we don’t spend enough time talking with our families and visiting them. I watched a movie that stressed the importance of waking up each day and being thankful for simply having another day of life. If we take the perspective that we are lucky to be living, imagine how minute all the other worries in life are. After all, the point of life is to live it. So this holiday season, live your life. : )
DillonDelatorre · December 4, 2009 at 12:01 am
wow it is amazing that you can open up and reveal such deep and intense personal stories. I am terribly sorry to hear aobut your brother, but it is very true the moral of the whole ordeal, that you cant take life for granite, and dwell on the little stresses in your life. Very good advice, but learned in a very sad way. I too am thankful for most of the categories on that list and when during this week of finals it does help to think about what i have and no worry about whats gonna happen based on some tests. Very thought provoking entry and really makes you think…
MakeyvaD · December 4, 2009 at 8:48 am
I agree with how we should always be thankful more than just one day a year and I also had a brother who passed away from Cancer when he was thirteen and had it for seven years and was told he would live for 2 months to 2 years. He was a year older than me and he was the happiest kid ever and was always smiling even when he had to get Chemo and the nurses would be like why is always so happy and it’s just amazing. When i start feeling sad, or stressed, or depressed i think of him and I think about how he had Cancer and didn’t let things get him down and he actually had a good reason to be depressed about and he never was. I actually get mad when I see one of my older brothers get mad and depressed over a girlfriend or not being married at his age and I’m like you shouldn’t get depressed over that you have so much more to be thankful for.
NikkiNoroian · December 4, 2009 at 2:12 pm
I liked that quote by William James. It is easy to get caught up in your own daily struggles/setbacks–something I earnestly try to avoid. Hearing about people with ongoing health conditions like Leroy really put things into perspective.
That is interesting how being thankful for things in our life can contribute to our overall well being. My guess for this finding by Emmons and McCullough is that when you make a conscious effort to think about the many blessings in your life, you are less likely to focus on the negative.
NikkiNoroian · December 4, 2009 at 2:12 pm
I liked that quote by William James. It is easy to get caught up in your own daily struggles/setbacks–something I earnestly try to avoid. Hearing about people with ongoing health conditions like Leroy really put things into perspective.
That is interesting how being thankful for things in our life can contribute to our overall well being. My guess for this finding by Emmons and McCullough is that when you make a conscious effort to think about the many blessings in your life, you are less likely to focus on the negative.
vdowell · December 5, 2009 at 1:47 am
I really like your reminder to everyone to review their lists of things to be thankful for more than just once a year. It can be so easy to get wrapped up in minor setbacks to the point that you’re blinded to the truly wonderful things around you. I feel so thankful for my supportive family, wonderful friends, chance to get an education, and, similarly to you, the huge amount of personal freedom I’m privileged to exercise every day of my life. Creating this list just filled me with glee, so Emmons and McCullough must be on to something. But when life gets busy it is so easy to forget to take moments to be grateful. Earlier this week I was a few hours behind on sleep and I had a research proposal to work on and nearly no groceries because I haven’t had time to shop… and I (overly dramatically) thought it was one of the worst days of my life. Now I realize how silly that is, if thats one of my worst days, I must be a pretty lucky person =b
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