Way back in 1992, David Buss and his colleagues at the University of Michigan published results of a three studies showing that men and women responded differently to sexual and emotional infidelity. They argued that the different reactions stemmed from sex differences in challenges to successful reproduction. Men, they said, faced risks from sexual infidelity that included lower probability of reproduction and the possibility of investing resources in raising another man’s child. Sexual infidelity did not impact a woman’s ability to reproduce, but emotional infidelity (falling in love with another and redirecting resources to her) could threaten her ability to provide for her children.
Like many articles emerging from the evolutionary psychology perspective, the position taken by Buss et al. (1992) was heavily criticized, but mostly on the basis of methodology (see for example DeSteno, Bartlett, Braverman, & Salovey, 2002 and Harris, 2003). Although any article is open to critique on the basis of its methods, running behind the scenes of most criticism of evolutionary psychology is a basic discomfort with the notion that men and women might actually behave differently on occasion. Alternately, critics might argue that any observed difference in the behavior of men and women is assumed to arise from socialization rather than any biological or evolutionary source.
Frederick and Fales (2014) have expanded the Buss et al. approach in an assessment of sexual and emotional infidelity using a survey of almost 64,000 American adults. Heterosexual men remained much more likely to be upset by sexual infidelity, in contrast to the greater distress caused by emotional infidelity reported by heterosexual women, homosexual men, homosexual women, and bisexual men and women.
Not only do Frederick and Fales provide a much more representative sample (their participants ranged from age 18 to 65), but I think it’s very important to include individuals with a range of sexual orientation. In this case, the fact that heterosexual men alone out of all sexual orientation groups respond to sexual infidelity most dramatically lends considerable support to the evolutionary emphasis on paternal uncertainty.
11 Comments
efike · January 10, 2015 at 5:42 pm
I find the topic of jealously among the genders very interesting. Growing up in today’s society I was told that women are crazy and jealous in relationships, while men don’t feel that way. However, based on personal experience as well as the data presented in your blog, I’ve found that to be false. I also agree with you that the data on people with different sexual orientations is very interesting. I find the media portraying homosexual men as very dramatic and following the same feminine jealousy stereotype I mentioned before. Frederick and Fales research on this topic gives great evidence to discount this dramatic, jealous portrayal of homosexual men and heterosexual women.
mjohns54 · January 10, 2015 at 9:34 pm
I couldn’t agree more with your point about including people of different sexual orientations being included in the study. So often we are shown studies that have a “representative sample”, when in fact it usually only includes heterosexual males and females. This excludes a large number of people who are not heterosexual. I was quite intrigued to see the results of the Frederick & Fales (2014) study. I would not have expected that heterosexual women, homosexual men, homosexual women, and bisexual men and women all felt greater distress caused by emotional infidelity. Thanks for sharing! Quite an interesting post.
melissaenunez · January 10, 2015 at 10:39 pm
I’ve always seen infidelity and sexuality such a taboo but interesting topic of discussion. I think that the study done by Buss and the data from Frederick and Fales’ assessment supports what I have seen in real life and fiction. Women are known to care more about emotion than men and the studies agree that jealously over emotional infidelity has more of an affect for them. Heterosexual males are seen to care more of the sexual side of a relationship than women in general which also correlates with the study. I too find it really interesting that the assessment showed that all other sexual orientations except for the heterosexual male cared more for emotional infidelity. It further proves that straight males in our society are more driven to care of the sexual component of a relationship.
rspatric · January 11, 2015 at 10:22 am
This is an intriguing study. I am curious as to how jealousy effects the brain and if amongst each sexual orientation group jealousy makes the brain work differently. It also surprises me that the bisexual group does not fall amongst the straight males in this study. I’m a sure though that the reaction of a bisexual female would be different to that of a bisexual male. The age factor in this experiment would be interesting to learn more about. Would a younger person be affected greater (or be more jealous) by infidelity? I myself, as a young heterosexual female, find I fall out of my category. I believe I would be more frustrated by sexual infidelity than emotional infidelity. Sexual infidelity feels like more of a betrayal in a relationship to me, because we are able to control our actions much easier than we are able to control our emotions. If my partner fell in love with someone else, but did not act on it, I think it would be easier to move on from that relationship. But if my partner cheated on me sexually, I would be incredibly angry since they knowingly hurt me. Whatever the case, infidelity is a traumatic and difficult thing to overcome in any relationship.
jwatso02 · January 11, 2015 at 5:15 pm
It seems likely to me that the differences in the behaviors of men and women can be explained by both biology and our socialization. Our biology is probably not entirely separate from environmental factor as well- that is, any biological differences between men and women will have an impact on more “nurture” aspects such as socialization. The study conducted by Fredrick and Fales is especially interesting. I think it is very important and really appreciate that their study included participants from age 18-65 because this demonstrates that these differences in men and women are not an isolated occurrence of one particular developmental stage. It is very interesting that heterosexual men responded the most dramatically to sexual infidelity. I would be curious as to know how heterosexual men’s desire to reproduce is related to this, and if they respond the most because they have the most to lose in terms of their chance of reproduction decreasing. For women, I think the study’s findings are consistent with my own experience about women and jealousy. I believe women’s response to emotional infidelity may, at least in part, stem from a desire to protect oneself and one’s children. Emotional infidelity often precedes sexual infidelity and separation, so a woman learning of her partner’s emotional infidelity seems like a natural cause for fear and jealously as this poses a threat to her (and her children).
smorri07 · January 16, 2015 at 4:25 pm
This is definitely an interesting spin on the hot topic of gender, sexual orientation, and the biology behind them. I agree that differing sexual orientations ought to be considered in the mix when doing any kind of study on the behavior of a specific gender because there are those who may fall into a category of sex who do not identify as such. Also, it is really interesting that the male and females reacted so differently in the first place considering the extreme amount of extraneous, confounding, uncontrollable variables involved in a relationship and leading up to the events of infidelity. I would support further study in the area, this time including the variable of sexual orientation, so as to provide further support for such a strong statement about one sex versus another.
kmmcnult · January 17, 2015 at 7:57 pm
I thought the study was interesting, and I like that Fredrick and Fales included people of many sexual orientations. The last sentence, “the fact that heterosexual men alone out of all sexual orientation groups respond to sexual infidelity most dramatically lends considerable support to the evolutionary emphasis on paternal uncertainty” reminded me of two studies we looked at in my evolution class I took last quarter. First, a 1999 study in Albuquerque men showed that more care was invested in their biological kids (through college funds) than their stepchildren. A different study in rural Trinidad showed that more agonistic behavior was seen between fathers and their step children in comparison to the same fathers and their biological children. Paternal uncertainty is seen in the animal kingdom as well as the human world, and it is fascinating to see the results of many different studies.
elliehirahara · January 20, 2015 at 5:54 pm
Although different sexual orientations should have been seen within the study, I believe that this study overall is very interesting and provides evidence that one’s emotional and sexual feelings derive from biology. It makes sense that men are more effected by sexual infidelity because, like you have mentioned, men want to be sure that they are not raising another man’s child and the idea of not being able to reproduce. The differences between genders is such an interesting topic and this study just shows how much broader it can get with not only gender differences but differences in sexual orientations as well.
najavier · January 25, 2015 at 4:55 pm
One element that stood out for me within this article was the view that because men and women have their own norms and experiences within their gender, they behave differently. This idea might lead to the survey’s results that found heterosexual men more hurt by their partner being sexually unfaithful while other sexual orientations are more hurt by their partner being emotionally unfaithful. I once read a study that looked at the differences between boys and girls during their middle school years. The study found that disclosing personal information was how girls were intimate whereas intimacy for boys involved being physical with one another. So, maybe this foundation can partly be the reason for the different reactions to sexual and emotion infidelity. Also,from a biological perspective with other species, normally males do have a harder time to pass on their genes which is why they try to mate as much as possible. There are even some tactics used by males that have evolved over time to ensure only their sperm will impregnate the female. These findings could possibly relate to why heterosexual men are more affected by sexual infidelity because they don’t know if the children are his own biological kids.
mariecote · October 16, 2016 at 9:54 am
I took the evolution class (bio 414) this summer and we talked about the “goals,” if you will, of males versus females with regard to reproduction. Males reproductive success is determined by their access to mates; the more females they can mate with, the higher their reproductive success. Females increase their reproductive success by choosing a male with high fitness, which can be indicated by sexually dimorphic characteristics. This is purely an evolutionary stand point, and applicable to many organisms, but is arguably more complicated in humans. As you stated in the beginning, men are more sensitive to sexual infidelity, or the possibility that they are raising a child that is not theirs. While women are more threatened by decreased parental investment that results from emotional infidelity. I agree that a logical criticism of this evolutionary perspective is that it implies differences in behavior between men and women in particular situations. I think it’s important to acknowledge the role evolutionary science may play in jealousy, but to also realize that there may indeed be more complexities to this topic with regards to humans.
Top Psychology Sites · December 7, 2015 at 8:38 am
[…] Men, Women and Jealousy -This is the post describes that tells jealousy is the prevailing cause in both men and women. The intensity and level of jealousy may differ from person to person. […]