Random acts of kindness….

One of our family rituals, chez Freberg, is an annual trek to Paso Robles for the Midstate Fair. For the uninitiated, this event combines a lot of 4-H events with shows by major talent (Rod Stewart and Toby Keith this year), a midway, lots of weird food (do people really eat fried twinkies?), and vendors. Mr. F found a terrific new knife from Cutco…supposed to be the sharpest in the world.

A couple of years ago, one of my writer friends from Boston was honeymooning in Paso, and asked me about local things to do. After going through the requisite wine-tasting, hot air balloons, Hearst Castle, et al., I did mention the Fair. Apparently the highlight of this young couple’s honeymoon was seeing the pig races at the Midstate Fair. Okay, perhaps I have a greater appreciation for this activity, having trained more rats than I care to remember to press bars in Skinner boxes.

Our main motivation for going to the Fair every year is that this is a highlight for our youngest daughter, Karla, who has autism. She absolutely loves looking at all the animals, riding the carousel, and throwing darts at balloons (she was 7 out of 7 today). The midway rides tend to be fairly pricey ($4 for one spin on the carousel), but today, just out of the blue, the man running the carousel told Karla just to stay on as long as she wanted. Now maybe his bosses wouldn’t appreciate that much, but Karla was thrilled. I think she was on the carousel for about 45 minutes straight, and would be there longer, but I was melting in the heat (no shade around the carousel).

Being a psychologist, I couldn’t help but wonder why this stranger was motivated to extend a kindness to another person. The midway guys lead an obviously difficult life, traveling all over the country. I doubt they make much money, or own expensive cars and clothes, but my guess is that this guy knows what it means to be happy. It reminded me of the advice in John Cacioppo’s and William Patrick’s Loneliness—random acts of kindness do make connections with other human beings that make us feel wonderful.